My ex, Sherise, is the type of person that expresses her love through gifts - or "tokens of love" as she used to put it. So by her reasoning she felt loved when she was given stuff, especially when accompanied by some sort of mushy sentiment along with it. Now I'm not saying that she's wrong for being like this, not at all - it just isn't the way that I feel driven to show my affection for others. This fact didn't help in our relationship at all, as one might imagine.
Having gone through the stereotypical Valentine's Day routine with Sherise for over 14 years, I can say that I'm officially done with all of the "traditional" V-Day stuff. I'll express my feelings for the gal I care about in the manner that I feel I show it best. If that isn't enough for her, then she isn't the one for me!
When I care for somebody (friend or more), I do things for them. Be it tuning up their computer, helping them move, watching their pets, listening to them talk about their life, etc. - I'm there for them. This is something I enjoy doing for them. Sure, I might give gifts when appropriate (birthdays & Christmas), but it's usually something that the person can use - preferably something they actually need. I'm reluctant to buy something for somebody when they already have pretty much all they need. There are some exceptions to this line of thinking, but it isn't the norm.
A card is what I tend to give during special days (like today). If I were romantically involved with a gal, I'd definitely take her out to dinner (or cook something special myself) and try to find something that we could do together that was fun and best suited to our relationship and personalities. It's possible that a gift might be involved, but that would depend on many different factors.
So before I come off sounding like an uncaring oaf, I hope it's clear that I'm not saying that I won't express how I feel to the people that I care for. Quite the contrary! It's just that I won't waste my time trying to express it to them in a way that feels false or completely foreign to my core personality (sensibilities?) anymore. WYSIWYG!
This entry was brought to you by geek <3.
3 comments:
Um, I'd venture to guess that nobody finds V.D. happy ... even though it is known as the gift that keeps on giving!
Happy Valentine's Day to you, too - Geek Boi! Wo0t!
I cannot agree more with you. I don't care much about VD either. I want to be treated nicely and be cherished and all that good stuff all year round... so don't need the one day where my man is forced to treat me nicely. If it were for me, we could get rid of VD
Thanks for the comment! Now if I just had SOME idea of who you are. Maybe make up a name for yourself when you comment so folks know it's the same person (even if they don't know who you are).
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