5-day weekend recap

Thanksgiving plans changed quite a bit from my original idea of cooking for my dad, his wife (not my mom), their daughter (not my sister), Rece, and myself. The prospect of actually having to clean my train wreck of an apartment, on top of being the only cook in the place, wasn't sitting too well. What did I do? Founded upon a tip from a coworker, I decided that we'd go to Mimi's Cafe and enjoy a Thanksgiving feast cooked by somebody else for a change.

This was my first Thanksgiving at a restaurant. I've been fortunate enough to have the luxury of a home-cooked Thanksgiving meal ever since I can remember. Mimi's did an excellent job of bringing the home-cooked feel to the food and it was all delicious. The best part was not having any dishes to clean when it was all over! While I still prefer the traditional Thanksgiving meal cooked by the loving hands of friends and family, it's good to know that there are other options.

Much later on Thursday night, I helped a good friend format her sister's computer and reinstalled Windows XP from scratch. Unfortunately it resulted in the loss of everything, as to be expected, but it was out of necessity, as the computer just wasn't behaving very well at all. It took at least 4-5 hours to finish the whole job (including updates and other installs), but the company was top-notch, so at least it was enjoyable.

On Friday, Rece and I joined my dad and his family for a movie. We went to see Chicken Little. It was a pretty good flick, though not a blockbuster film by any measure. The essence of the story is a sad one, really: a boy (well, a chicken - I guess that would make him a young rooster, eh?) being raised by an asshole father (a real cock) who is embarassed of his own son and doesn't support him - that is until his son does something amazing - why not show that you love him no matter what, dad? The graphics were top-notch and the humor was clean and, at times, very witty. It was rated G and deservedly so. Take your kids to the (cheaper) matinee showing and you shouldn't be disappointed.

Saturday was a fun-filled day spent with Rece. We started off riding our bikes to Radio Shack to pick up some batteries for a garage door opener, then went to Sushi Wave for lunch. I managed to get Rece to eat 2 pieces of a California roll, which is quite an accomplishment if you know how picky he can be. We spent the majority of the meal laughing, which is always a good thing. Our next stop was Baskin Robbins, where we split a pint of Oreo cookies and cream ice cream - yum! We finished off our remaining time together (before his mom came to pick him up) watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on DVD. It was a cute movie, entertaining enough for me to sit all the way through.

Later that evening (after Rece had departed with his mom) I went geocaching with a couple of good friends. We went out at night for three specific reasons: 1) to release my new travel bug, 2) to go hunting for a very cool night cache, and 3) to expose these geocachers to a variety of "micro caches" so that they may be able to find some on their own much easier in the future (they think they suck at finding them, but they did just fine). The night cache was very cool, requiring that we use flashlights to locate reflective markers that lead us down a path - and ultimately to the cache (which turned out to be a pretty funny container). We all had a great time.

Sunday I spent resting, by myself, being completely lazy. I didn't take a shower, I barely ate, I tinkered around on the computer, and I slept for most of the day. To steal a quote from the brilliant film, Office Space...

"I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I thought it could be." - Peter Gibbons

Monday was a real treat! I was able to take the day off and went to Disneyland with a very special friend. It was a very slow day at the amusement park, so we were able to get on all the best rides with practically no wait at all. The newly renovated Space Mountain ride was fantastic, except maybe for the last special effect at the end - it left me feeling slightly disoriented for quite some time after.

After Disneyland we went for some down-home southern cooking at Johnny Rebs. So yummy! Our eyes were much bigger than our stomachs, which resulted in us taking about 3 pounds of leftovers home. With plenty of time left in the evening, we went out to find a couple of geocaches after leaving the restaurant.

We laughed a lot and thoroughly enjoyed our time together. The day was so perfect that I still have a huge grin on my face! I don't see how it could get any better than this!

This entry was brought to you by hypercolor shirts!

One Confused Geek

Once it happened, there was no going back. It was unexpected and developed faster than I thought possible. In a way, I feel crazy.

My brain has been so filled by the same line of thought lately that I'm nearly overwhelmed - but in a good way. Last night I freaked myself out because I couldn't seem to put my mind back in order. Having lived with ADD all my life, I've grown accustomed to having many different thoughts about so many different things all at the same time. Now, most of those different thoughts have become transfixed on just one thing. The very thought patterns of my mind seem to have been altered (poetry, for crying out loud?!). It's a wonderful, but confusing thing, really.

Now I know you're probably wondering to yourself, "self, what the hell is Gabe talking about?" This is a valid question, but one that may not ever get answered. I have my reasons for being so cryptic, so please just bear with me. There was a drive for me to get this out of my head in some fashion, so I'm posting here. This is very important to me.

This entry confused the writer about as much as it probably confused you.

Random Thoughts 11/22/05

While talking to my boss this morning, he said to me, "last night I went to get my balls drilled."

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Bleak white canvas
Deep chilled breath

Numbness of fingers
Warmth a forgotten luxury

Empty tree branches
Animals deep sleep

Winter soon comes

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I hate writing poetry (don't count on it happening again)

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My cable Internet appears to have been fixed. The connection has been dropping with regular frequency from somewhere around 11-12 in the morning until 3:30-4:00 in the afternoon for the last week. The cable guy came by this morning and tested my connections and found a bad splitter. He replaced it and it seems to be doing the trick. I can now stare at my messy living room again.

This entry was never here. Please try to forget all about it.

Turkey Day Race

I just felt like dropping in to report that I had an excellent weekend. I feel well rested and in high spirits. I'm also very relieved that this is a short work week due to turkey day.

My dad and his wife, Apple (not my step-mom) and their daughter, Jazmyn (not my sister) are supposed to come down and join Rece and I for Thanksgiving. This will be the first Thanksgiving that I'll be doing all the cooking (aside from whatever help Apple offers - she's very sweet). We'll see how it goes.

Since Sherise's relatives are being assholes, I've decided to not even bother trying to stick in there and take him to their functions. I'll let her patch things up with her family and she take Rece to their family functions herself. It's really too bad, as I got along pretty well with some of them. Such is life after divorce, I suppose.

This entry was made possible by gobble gobble!

Privacy - Done Deal

I met with HR this afternoon, by my request, to get clarification as to what it was they thought I did wrong in this matter (read previous 2 days of posts for more info). The meeting was brief, being only about 10 minutes long, and from what I was told, I'm not in trouble... I didn't do anything wrong... and that in the future I should do what I did this time: tell them to speak with HR.

Initially I was given some sort of circular argument about how I could have followed protocol better (AKA unwritten/unspoken rule not specified anywhere in our employee handbook). This didn't deter me from my pursuit of specific information, as I asked what exactly the correct protocol was. I was informed that I should refer people to HR if they feel concerned about their privacy. Once I heard this, I asked, "You mean as I did in the email that started all of this?" and, after a brief pause, was told "Yes". "So I didn't do anything wrong," I asked. "No, you didn't," she said to me.

There was no apology for having had my boss chew me out for nothing, except for being told that it probably wasn't necessary for it to have gone so far. Gee, thanks.

To me it seems that I got a knee-jerk reaction from HR... and that between this reaction and my boss's failure to ascertain what it was that I did in the first place and then to maybe stand up for me when he realized that I hadn't done anything wrong - I ended up in the hot seat for no reason. Maybe I'll just consider myself fortunate that things didn't get twisted around and end up causing me any more grief than it did.

This entry was made into a mountain from a molehill.

Privacy - Part 2

This morning I was "talked to" by my boss regarding the email I sent out yesterday. He said that HR wanted him to express that notifiying staff about this type of thing was not my job. Yet when I asked him what I did wrong and what I should do different in the future, he had no answer. I really wish he would have stood up for me, but I guess that's not the type of guy he is - aside from that, he's a really good boss, so I can't really complain. I'm still puzzled by what HR thinks I did wrong in this matter that warranted any action at all.

It wasn't an official reprimand or warning (yet), but I did tell him that I felt that I did no wrong in this matter and would stick by it, even if it meant ultimately getting written-up for it. I've never been written up here or at any other place of employment, so if it's going to happen, at least it'll be for something based on good principle.

I've asked HR for a sit-down meeting so we could clear the air about this. We'll be meeting tomorrow afternoon. I'll post an update after that.

This entry brought to you by PORK CHOP SANDWICHES!

A Matter of Privacy

A few of the ladies that work in my office recently discovered that if they "Googled" their name, their contact information came up - often times at the top of the search. The information provided includes their name, email address, title, and direct phone number at our office. Add to it that we also display our address (the part I have no trouble with), and you have enough information to be able to harass or stalk the person from their work, then ultimately follow them home.

Two of the ladies at work have had previous encounters with a stalker, that I know of. I know one of them actually has a restraining order against her ex, who has stalked her in the past. So having their information so easily found on the web doesn't seem right.

When I first learned about management wanting to put this information on the web site, I spoke up and voiced my concern regarding privacy. At the time, I didn't even know about the stalker incidents of those 2 ladies. My pleads were ultimately ignored and we've since kept an accurate and up-to-date list of all staff members on our web site. Did I fail to mention that this was all done without notifying any of the staff?

It wasn't until the last week or two that I've been asked about why we had this information publicly available on our site by 3 of our staff members. I help maintain our site, so it wasn't unusual for them to ask me about it. Then again today, I heard of another incident where a staff member was contacted by somebody in an odd circumstance (though I don't have any of the details) by use of the information found on our web site.

To be honest, I don't see why we need this information on our web site. Most of the staff doesn't interact with the public. In fact we've been urged not to unless it is in direct relation to our position. This is to make sure that any public information is handled properly and our messaging is consistent. Some staff need to be contacted directly for various duties and functions, but the majority don't.

So today I decided to send an email out to the 5 ladies that have either voiced concern over this issue or have had situations in their lives where this might be a concern. I simply suggested that they contact our HR department and ask them to remove their name from the web site list. Apparently some of them already have and I just found out that I'm going to get "talked to" about sending this email. To me it seems like I'm going to get my ass chewed out for trying to be a nice guy and keeping an eye out for staff members. Isn't that what HR is supposed to be doing?

I'll post an update about what happens from here. Wish me luck.

This entry was made possible by Google and a concerned IT guy.

The Big D

Today I penned my name to a piece of paper; the final piece needed to officially end my marriage of 14+ years. It occurred with no conflict or words of hurt. There were no tears or ill-will. It was just over.

Technically, the divorce isn't official until the papers make it to the courthouse, which should happen within the next week or two. Having spent a few moments thinking about it, I feel as though tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders, though, somewhere in the back of my mind, I do feel some sense of loss.

It was just over 16 years ago that I met Sherise. She sat behind me in English class our senior year of high school. We were both very different back then. It's amazing how when I look back at the person she was back then, I get a smile on my face. She was bubbly and fun to be around. We had a blast when we were together, despite the difficulties that we each had going on in our lives. It was some of these very difficulties that probably brought us closer together.

Being young and knowing everything is a tough responsibility. The logical thing we decided upon was to get married. Sure, this made sense. We loved each other tremendously and brought so much joy to one another - so why not? A year and 1 month after our first date we were married.

The first year was alright. I can't say that it was newlywed bliss, because it wasn't. We struggled like anybody else, but we somehow managed to make it. The second year was when the weight of my decision first started to press down on me. The honeymoon was over and we just couldn't seem to get on the same page about things - important or otherwise. I stuck in there, hoping that things would eventually get better. We make it 3 years and then Sherise is pregnant. At this point I honestly felt stuck - and I do mean stuck. Due to my procrastination and my sense of obligation, I felt as though I had locked myself into the marriage.

Rece was born in September of 1994. Rece wasn't planned - I prefer to call him a "surprise". From the moment he was just a tiny lump inside Sherise, I loved him. It was this love for him that kept me hanging in there, time and time again. My dissatisfaction for my marriage was beginning to show through and I wasn't the best husband to Sherise... but I stuck in there.

Fast-forward to 1999, when Sherise and I were finally at our wit's end and managed to split up for a couple of months. It was rushed and not carried out very wisely (go figure), and I couldn't stand to see what was happening to Rece. I caved in and tried to take another stab at making it work. Church didn't help. Counseling didn't help. Self-help books didn't help... but I stuck in there.

Late 2003, I came to the realization that no matter what happened, I just didn't want to be married to Sherise any more. It was finally sticking in my mind and my will was bent towards finally ending it. Sherise didn't make it difficult for me, as she was starting to have to cope with a lot of emotional and self-actualization garbage that she had been ignoring most of her life. I won't get into everything that happened during 2004, but it was just the incentive I needed to end it.

2005... a new year... a new beginning. We finally came to the realization that it just wasn't going to work anymore and there was no going back. Sherise moved out some time in late March/ early April and started filing. I was served with the divorce papers sometime in April.

These feelings of loss come as a surprise to me. I mean, this was something that I had invested more time into than anything else in my entire life! There's a nagging sense of hurt, which is mostly just bruised pride at having failed at something so big. Don't get me wrong, I'm not down in the dumps about all this, but if I'm to be honest with myself I have to acknowledge the feelings I'm experiencing.

Today I'm looking at life more optimistically - well, as optimistic as I'll likely ever get. I'll throw myself into being a good dad. Hopefully I can help him learn to deal with life better than I did. Maybe I'll be especially lucky and he'll have learned from my mistakes.

This entry snuck up like a ninja when the writer least expected.

There's no "C" in Anaheim

Forget skydiving. Don't bother with bungie jumping or hang gliding. For a real adventure, take a ride on bus route 43 at night.

I needed to take the bus to Disneyland to meet some friends so we could watch the fireworks and hang out afterwards. Without a car, this meant riding the bus. OCTA's route 43 is a short walk from my home and requires only one bus from Costa Mesa to Anaheim. I ride the bus to work almost every workday, so I didn't think anything about taking the bus at night. My thoughts on this have changed since Saturday night.

My ex-wife dropped by to pick up Rece, so I bummed a ride from her to the shopping center where my bus stop was to pick me up at about 9:00 pm. As I began to cross the parking lot, a young guy, I'm guessing around 24, came around the corner riding a skateboard and was apparently talking to me. Having not heard what he said, I asked "Excuse me?"

He replied "No man, I don't want to have anything to do with whatever's going down here, man. I'm just a harmless white guy, man."

Assuming he thought something illegal was afoot, I explained, "Naw, bro, it's not like that. That's my ex and my kid."

Not one bit fazed by this, the guy just continued, "Oh, well I don't know about that, man, I just don't want any part of it, don't get me involved."

It was at this point that he came into close enough range (and dangerous proximity) that I was then able to observe that he was holding a large maglite flashlight, rather tightly - and with the butt-end out. I moved a couple of steps away from the direction he was rolling and flashed him the hippy peace sign, saying, "Peace and love, bro. Peace and love." He passed by without further incident, still muttering to himself.

The bus was running on time and I was happy to get off the street, considering the previous incident, only to notice a large group of 'hoodies' at the back of the bus. For those who don't know, a 'hoodie' is sometimes used in reference to the gang-banger, tattoed and hard-ass looking guys who wear hooded sweatshirts. Having gone to continuation school during high school, I knew better than to make eye contact and simply found a seat towards the front of the bus.

At the next stop, a man in a wheel chair got on the bus. The bus driver asked him how long he had waited, to which the man replied "About 45 minutes. The last bus stopped, let off people, didn't take anybody else on and drove off." Not seeming to be surprised by this, the bus driver apologized to the man for his wait and got on the radio to inform the OCTA Operations and Command Center (I made up that name).

The man in the wheel chair was a nice enough fellow, so I asked him if he thought the previous bus driver had wigged out or something. He didn't know, but complained about the pain in his knee. I asked him what had happened to it and he said that he got hit by a car while crossing a street back in 1979. He then went on to tell me about getting hit by another car (while in the wheelchair) not too long ago. "You think my knee looks bad, check this out" and proceeded to pull down his sock to display a gaping wound about an inch in diameter and at least an inch deep. Fortunately I don't get grossed out easily, but the sight of this did surprise me - not to mention making me wonder why he felt the need to show it to me, a complete stranger. He got off the bus about a mile away from where he had boarded.

Not long after the wheelchair man left the bus, a gal got on, huffing from the sprint across a parking lot to catch the bus (and her physical size). She was lady-like and must have been a regular on the route, as she said "Shit, make my fat ass run through wet grass to catch you!" to the bus driver. Once boarded, she looked at the group of hoodies in the back and exclaimed, "did I get on the wrong bus or something" and sat in the front seat. About 5 minutes passed and, for what seemed like absolutely no reason, she whipped her head around looking towards the back of the bus screaming, "What the fuck did you say? You better as HELL not be talkin' 'bout me!" She continued by muttering something about today not being a good day to mess with her. I'm sure she'll make some guy very happy some day.

At the same stop the screaming lady disembarked, another woman boarded, quietly sobbing to herself. She must have been quite distraught, as her purse looked as though she had walked through a field of sprinklers. The poor thing didn't stop crying her entire trip, getting off somewhere near Disneyland. The fireworks had already started, but they did nothing to lift her spirits.

I got off the bus and made my way to the Disney Promenade and met my friends to finish watching the fireworks display. Smiley face and cube-shaped fireworks? Neat! I'll have to come back earlier some day soon, so I can watch the entire show.

OCTA's route 43 is one of their 24-hour routes. If it's this looney between 9:00 and 9:35 pm, I can't imagine how much more interesting it is through the middle of the night.

This entry brought to you by Capt Jack and his electronic orchestra.